its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
