was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize