escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize