On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
