Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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