I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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