At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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