soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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