Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
