So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
