I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
