Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
