I seem to have left my pride at pride
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize