DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
