One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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