I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
