well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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