How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
