i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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