I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
