Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
