hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I have feelings that need drinking.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
