I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
