So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I wish life had little blips of pornography
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize