It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
