But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
