ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
