Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
