just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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