She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
