I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
