So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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