I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
