I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
