There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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