Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
