is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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