i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
