you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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