if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
