I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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