Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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