I must be too annoying 4 u.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
