Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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