another moral hangover. fuck.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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