i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
