I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize