Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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