with your own penis?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
