I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Buhtt sex?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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