so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I think I just sharted jello shots
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
