i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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