Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
