the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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