Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
