im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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