Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
