so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
