I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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