Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
