You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
