Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
