You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i think i have two assholes
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
